2009 was a year full of fun, blessings, a lot of hard work, confusion, troubles, things being overcome, and a bunch of other memories! The pages of my journal are filled with the good and the bad, the pretty and the ugly. 2009 had its ups and had its downs (more ups than downs thank goodness!).
I accomplished many things in 2009 that I'm rather excited about: I survived my first year of college, I had an amazing job (which i still have!), I completed a few new shading projects to add to my artwork, I've taken countless pictures, stood by a wonderful friend as she became one with the love of her life, met new people, tried new things, visited new places. All these things wonderful in themselves. But what did 2009 really contain? What was the point? Did I do anything worth while? Did I affect anyone's life in a positive way?
I sit here today not even remembering what my New Years Resolution for 2009 was and I wonder if I completed it. That's the problem with New Years Resolutions, you hardly even remember them and most people give up or quit trying. Is there really a point to making a NYR if you won't even remember it?
I suppose it's good to set goals for yourself so you have something to strive towards. Maybe that's why NYR was first thought of. Someone who was bored with their life thought, "hey maybe I should make a NYR and see if at the end of the year I have completed it." I wonder if that person succeeded. If so, HOW??? A calender that had the resolution written on it every day? A huge poster that had their NYR written on it? There are countless ideas flying through my head at the moment but none of them seem reasonable! So how, how does anyone keep their NYR? This must be the number asked question of each new year.
With that out of my head, back to things of 2009. 2009 brought a lot of memories to the forefront of my brain: Camp, Camp, Youth Convention, Camp, Fine Arts, Camp, and well, MORE CAMP! It was an amazing year at camp! The kids were great! The REC crew was great! and of God did some miraculous things! I learned about myself a lot at camp and grew to a new depth in my relationship with Christ. It was the most memorable moment of the year. God has done some wonderful things in me and through that I can't even begin to explain. I've witnessed things I never thought I'd witness and they've changed my outlook forever.
The one most dear to my heart is Dustin from camp. He was a 16 year old guy living for the Lord and having a blast at camp with his friends until one night his life would change forever. It was 2am as I was trying to go to sleep when my life stopped and everything revolved around him. Between rushing around on a golf cart to get medical supplies to save this boy's life, to crying out to God for a miracle. This night was memorable. I can't explain the things I saw that night or the feelings I felt. But now that I think about it, I didn't feel that much of anything. Being involved in a traumatic situation humanity leaves you and you're wired to the situation.
That night I saw something so meaningful. The love of a youth pastor. You go through everyday not necessarily thinking about how much people love you and you know your youth pastor does but no one really understands the love. Dustin's youth pastor showed a love much like a parent that I'm convinced all youth pastors (at least mine!) has for their students. He was giving Dustin CPR for a good 45 minutes and cheering him on without taking a break to think things over or to catch a breath. It was all about Dustin and his needs. He fought for Dustin as Dustin would for himself had he been able to. A fight wasn't looking forward with a good outcome but that didn't stop him. It pushed him harder.
After all the the commotion was over I went back to sleep, at least trying to sleep. To my surprise I had fallen fast asleep but awoke myself with a bloody scream and not knowing where I was at. Thanks to one of my roommates who had been out with Dustin as well, I was able to catch myself and pull myself back together. I was having the most realistic, most horrifying nightmare I had ever had. It was awful. I talked with the nurse I was close to about it and she said things like that usually happen after your body goes through a traumatic experience.
The next day, I woke up to some less desirable news. Dustin had not made it through the night. As the tears began to pour out of my eyes and fly down my face I was crushed, confused, and disappointed. How could he have not made it? We did everything! Why didn't God save him?? Although that thought ran through my head, I was not filled with anger or rage as I thought I would be but rather peace. God had made it clear to me that everything was okay that Dustin was perfect and I should not worry. It was an intense moment in my relationship with Christ. I hit a new place in my relationship that I would never fall from.
That day and week were hard nonetheless but I was impressed with the way things were handled, how the students reacted, and the things God did in Dustin's youth group through that situation.
2009 treated me well. It taught me a lot, changed my perspective, led me into tough times, and God brought me through them.
I couldn't have survived this year without Christ. He is my Saving Grace!
Now for 2010. I have not a clue what's in store but after everything I experienced this past year, I know it will be amazing!
So here's to 2010! Bring forth what may and let God be my guide!
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