Change Brings Frustration

"All of us experience change in our lives. Change is the one constant in our lives. There are changes that we look forward to and change that we fear. However, one thing is for sure. Things will not stay the same no matter how much we would like them too. When a life change occurs, we have two choices in how to respond. We can despair that a change has come and assume that things will be worse, or we can look with excitement at the new possibilities that the change presents."

A season of change is setting in. I'd like to take the easy way out and assume that things will be worse but I know that going the easy way is not the best way. I know that with things changing they're going to be better because Christ has plans far better than my own but despite my knowledge of that, I still find it easy to just be a negative nancy. I've given up something that I can't let go of. I feel like part of me is missing but I know that I gave it up for it to be filled again with something right

An overwhelming sense of emptiness has flooded me over the past few days. It's supposed to get easier, but seems to get harder. Breakthrough is in my future but how close or how far away it resides, I don't know. I rage with impatience. Ideas of going back fill my mind and make things much harder. God is my strength and I have to stand tall in that.

This summer brings a season of change as well. Stepping into my Senior Year of college sets up a list of change! Classes schedules, internships, friends, living locations, jobs, etc. Am I ready to go into it full force? It's like a final battle before victory comes. I can't go into battle unprepared but neither will I go in feeling timid. The upcoming months, I'm sure, will prepare me for this battle that will lead me to the end of one book and the start of another.

I would love to be able to express the emotions, confusions, disappointments, and everything else flying through my scatterbrained mind. I feel as if I could, I would be able to sort through everything and try and make some sense of it. I want things but they're not good for me. I need things but I can't have them (they may not be needs at all, possibly more of wants, but the desire for them makes them feel like needs).

Ive got so many more thoughts to go along with this but my mind can't seem to think my way through things bc I'm watching Distant Thunder in class so I guess this is plenty of venting for now.

XoXo