Yesterday I started reading Captivating. WOW! What an amazing book. It really opened my eyes to realize that the desires I have for a relationship and to be feminine but strong at the same time is the way God created me. As women, we want three things: to be romanced, to be an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to possess beauty. When we don't get/have these things, as women we feel as though we are failing at what we were created to be. This leaves us with a feeling of shame.
This shame can't haunt us especially when it comes to relationships. We feel as though we're not beautiful enough, we're not irreplaceable, and we're not being romanced and it hurts! But how many of us have taken the time to think that God is the same way as us? I haven't, until I read this book. This paragraph stuck out the most to me:
"After years of hearing the heart-cry of women, I am convinced beyond a doubt of this: God wants to be loved. He wants to be a priority to someone. How could we have missed this? From cover to cover, from beginning to end, the cry of God's heart is, "Why won't you choose me?" It is amazing to me how humble, how vulnerable God is on this point. "You will find me," says the Lord, "when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13 In other words, "Look for me, pursue me - i want you to pursue me." Amazing. As Tozer says, "God wants to be wanted.""
WOW! What an amazing point! After reading this and going through the most recent situation I've been through with a guy that I had extremely strong feelings for basically tell me he did not want me, all I could think to myself was Why? Why won't you choose me? Why won't you pursue me? I want you to pursue me." All this time i've been caught up in pursuing someone who doesn't want me when I should have been pursuing God who is crying out for me to pursue him! I've been filled with the thought of "I can't do this anymore, falling for someone, it takes too much energy only to be left with a sense of low self-worth. But this has shown me that this love is something I can pursue in, something that when I fall head over hills, I don't have to worry about being dropped without warning. I don't have to worry about wasting time and energy because I know My God will NEVER leave me nor FORSAKE ME! He loves me even when I don't show him true love back. He loves me before I begin pursuing. He knows everything about me and actually wants to share himself with me.
As women, we can really relate with this passage from Captivating. The desires of God's heart is matched up perfectly with the desires of our hearts! He created us this way specifically. Maybe he created us to love hard because once we finally realize that the one love we can count on is His love, we will fall in love with Him and He'll teach us how to truly love so when He reveals his true love for us in human form, we will know how to love that person.
I've been through the desert but I will not stay there long. God is picking me off the floor and wrapping me in His arms. I will learn to love and love learning. He is my strength when I am weak and my true love.
Let this be an encouragement to you!
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